All good things come with lots of attitude

Monkey is watching Brutus, my mom’s cat, lick himself. When he starts to lick his “business end”, she was totally grossed out.

Monkey: “He’s licking his stinky!”
Me: “That’s how he takes a bath. He doesn’t use toilet paper, he just licks himself clean.”
Monkey: “You can’t do that. That’s his stinky. He’s licking his stinky. That has germs.”

My mom’s job has a yearly holiday party for the kids, complete with clowns, junk food, gifts, and Santa. Last year, Monkey spit and clawed and hissed like an angry kitty when I tried to get her to sit on Santa’s lap for a picture. I was totally expecting the same thing this year. I was very, very wrong.

But, first, we got her a balloon crown and some ink:

Baby steps, people. A glittery butterfly tattoo on the hand to get the party started.

Not too sure who you are, but you just gave me a gift, so you must be OK.

Then, a trip to visit Santa. We were second in line…in case she decided to act up, I figured I would still have a chance to get back in line and try again later on. She was a little weirded out by it at first, but then she opened up and told Santa what she wanted for Christmas, and how she had a tree with lights and how Mamita’s tree has a whole bunch of presents under it that she can’t open until Santa says she can open them. It was hilarious.

After ripping open her gift (a Dora telephone, exactly what every diva needs for those days when she grows tired of her pink princess phone), we headed over to get her face painted.

She was the youngest customer of the day. The lady said that she normally can’t get two-year-olds to sit still long enough to get their whole faces done. However, Monkey got it in her head that she wanted to be a butterfly, and she was determined to make it happen.

Then, we were off to decorate cookies…only, Monkey did more candy-eating than actual decorating.

Don’t ask about the jelly bean.

We played with some balloon animals, pet some bunnies, watched a magic show…and, before we knew it, our two hours were up and it was time to go back home.

This is a toddler

This is a toddler on sugar.

My gosh, Christmas is only 5 days away! Eep! Here’s a quick recap what we’ve been up to:

Monkey helped me decorate our tree.

This is her contribution. All the ornaments at midget monkey level. Perfect.

Then, we got all dolled up and had a holiday party at Monkey’s school. I love her school, seriously.

The highlight of the show? Hmm, it would have to be a toss-up between the one little boy screaming “Blanca Navidad” directly into the microphone, off key, and the two little ones who kept shoving each other out of the way to get in front of the microphone. Monkey was perfect – she signed her way through some Christmas muzak and danced with her little boyfriend up on stage.

Last weekend, we got ourselves and Barbie ready to head to Mamita’s house:

And we danced the evening away.

Then, the highlight of our week: we went on our first trip to the dentist! Monkey was a total angel at the appointment. She sat on daddy’s lap and let the dentist get all up in her grill. I was amazed. That dentist, she’s like the stubborn donkey whisperer. Someone give that lady a medal.

So, yeah, that was December all crammed into one post. Next time: War and Peace in three sentences or less.

I was at my mom’s watching Spanish TV. Some scantily-clad women were shaking their bon-bons to a salsa band. Monkey turns to me and says, “Mommy, that lady needs more dress.”

Later on, she told A, “The lady was dancing in her panties. Panties are for inside, not outside.”

Monkey: “Mommy, do you know where your daddy is?”
Me: “Papito? He’s in Colombia. Far, far away from here.”
Monkey: “Papito is far?”
Me: “Yeah, he’s far away.”
Monkey: “Do you miss him?”
Me: “Yes, I miss him a lot.”
Monkey: *rubs my arm* “Awww, it’s OK. You’ll see him soon.”

We woke up to our first snow today. I hoisted Monkey up to the window so she could watch the snow fall and point at the people who were cleaning off their cars to make their way to mass. Sometimes, it’s good to be a heretic.

We got ourselves bundled up and headed over to my mom’s for brunch. Monkey was really excited – so excited that she insisted on filling her Dora backpack with all sorts of useless crap. You know, in case we got stranded on the walk to mamita’s house and found ourselves in need of a green crayon, a wayward LEGO, and a hairclip. That girl, she’s like the modern MacGuyver.

She found this retaining wall and decided to give the neighbors a hand with their snow cleaning.

Surprisingly, we didn’t much appreciate the snow that crept up our sleeves.

I had to explain to her that the proper way to eat snow is by sticking out your tongue – NOT by picking up a handful off the sidewalk and shoving in our mouths.

She can catch lots of snow with that tongue.

She was such a good sport – making the walk all by herself with only one fall (oops) and minimal help from me. The little explorer, indeed.