Monkey: Mommy, I saw a man with a baby on his back the other day.

Me: Really? Where?

Monkey: On his back.

Me: No, where did you see the man with the baby?

Monkey: On his back, I told you.

Me: Where were you when you saw him?

Monkey: Oh, he was walking by.

Me: On the street?

Monkey: No, Mommy, on the sidewalk.

We were at Mamita’s house having dinner when Monkey looks up from her food an says, “Mamita has made the best meal ever!”

Monkey and A were practicing guitar together. A song with lyrics about ‘broken hearts’ comes on.

Monkey: Broken hearts? I have a broken heart.
A: You do?
Monkey: Yeah, but it’s fixed now, so I’m happy again.

Walking home from her school one day, we come across a pigeon with one leg.

Monkey: Why does that pigeon have only one leg?
Me: I don’t know. It must’ve gotten hurt somehow.
Monkey: And it lost the leg?
Me: I guess so.
Monkey: I know! When I get older, I’m gong to become a police officer so that I can help the pigeon find his foot!

As we’re walking past the firestation near her school:

Monkey: Hello, Firefighters! (turns to me) Mommy, I said hi to them. They look nice.

Yes, they look very, very nice.

A’s mom slept in the spare bed in Monkey’s room while she was visiting. One morning, Monkey comes up to A and me and we have the following conversation:

Monkey: There’s a monster in my room.
me: Monkey, there’s no monsters.
Monkey: Yes there is. I heard it. It snores at night.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I tried to convince Monkey to come with me to Fairway for some grocery shopping.

“No, I want to go to the park.”
“We need to buy some food, Monkey.”
“But, the park is calling my name, Mommy.”
“Is it now? What’s it saying?”
“It’s saying ‘Don’t go to Fairway! Don’t go to Fairway!’”

A’s mom was visiting a few weeks ago. She tells Monkey, “Your baby sister was telling me how she has such a great big sister.”

Monkey replied, “No she didn’t. She can’t talk yet.”

At the zoo today, a group of kids were calling the monkeys in an exhibit. They were asking the furry animals if they wanted to play. Monkey tells them, “They don’t actually talk.”

We took you to the West Indian Parade on Labor Day. You loved watching the “princesses” and screamed when Ronald McDonald rolled by. How the hell do you know who Ronald McDonald is?

My apologies for the lack of updates. We’ve been busy welcoming out newest member to the family.

Upon meeting her new sister, Monkey exclaimed, “I think my baby sister likes me!”

She’d be crazy not to, Prettymonkey.

This week ended with you running a fever all day Thursday. I thought for sure I’d have a sick little monkey on my hands all weekend. However, like always, you surprised me and woke up Friday morning bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready for your dentist appt.

I wasn’t sure if you were playing a trick on me or not, so I took you to the park early in the morning to see how you’d take it. You loved having the park almost to yourself. It was also not too hot, so we hung out for over an hour, just running around and playing on the swings.

Friday was your second trip to the dentist and you were amazing. The dentist commented on how beautiful your teeth are – she proclaimed them to be “Princess teeth”. You really appreciated that. Armed with your new Belle toothbrush and a crapload of trinkets, you walked out of there all smiles and wondering when we’ll be able to go back to the dentist.

Saturday, we woke up and headed out to your last soccer practice of the season. You finally grew to love soccer, and even looked forward to it. You learned to run and play and kick the ball. You’re a stickler for rules, though, and would meticulously finish each exercise with the utmost precision, even if it meant that you were the last one back in your spot. That’s OK, though. I’m sure you have enough of your momma in you that you’ll soon be questioning authority and doing things your own way. Oh, joy.

After practice, we headed to the Farmer’s Market at Grand Army Plaza where we bought some of the sweetest strawberries we could find. You came home with your face stained pink from all the berries.

Sunday we headed out to a craft festival where we tried to keep from melting in the heat and humidity. Luckily, we found some ice-cream and stuffed our faces.

After returning home for a little rest, we picked up Mamita and Alba and headed out to Brighton Beach for dinner on the boardwalk. You snuggled under Mamita’s wrap.

Then helped her run off her dinner…

Hope you had as much fun this weekend as I did, Prettymonkey.

We moved this weekend. Unlike the last apartment, where Monkey’s room was right next to mine, she’s now sleeping in a room that’s clear across the apartment. It’s far enough away that I can’t hear her if I’m in my room, so we set up the baby monitor. I haven’t had a baby monitor on her in over a year, and it’s been pretty entertaining hearing what all goes on in her room before she goes to sleep.

So far, tonight we’ve heard:

- “What’s this? I don’t want this in my room!” (Not sure what that was about, but she got over it quickly.)

- Monkey sang ‘Happy Birthday’ to her doll, who is apparently turning one.

- Monkey had a whole conversation with a Princess. (Not sure which one, but they discussed the pizza that we had for dinner.)

- Monkey retold the story of Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz and the witch who melted when “Dorfee” threw water on her head.

Monkey needed new toothpaste, so we walked to the pharmacy and I let her pick out her own tube. She decided on some obnoxious Dora toothpaste. On the way home, she told me that she couldn’t wait to use her toothpaste because it’s gonna taste just like Dora.

Driving home on the West Side Highway this afternoon, listening to the radio while we sit in traffic, this song came on the radio. I didn’t think Monkey was listening as she kept looking out the window and commenting on all the construction vehicles.

Monkey: “Mommy, she says she keeps bleeding.”

Me: “Umm, yeah, she is.”

Monkey: “Oh, no! Maybe she needs a band-aid?”

Me: “Well, I don’t think that’s really what she means.”

Monkey: “I know! I have Hello Kitty band-aids at home. Maybe we can give her one when we get home?”

We’ve been busy this month:

Monkey started soccer classes a few weeks ago. She’s not a huge fan. I sense that the Force may not be all that strong in this one.

This was the look on her face throughout the first practice. Subsequent sessions have not really yielded any better facial expressions.

She did kinda sorta start warming up to it….

Hmm, maybe we can teach her to channel that anger into kicking the ball.

After torturing my child with soccer lessons, we ran off to Maryland to visit with LittleFace.

They petted sheep:

And ran in a kid’s fun run. Well, Monkey ran it in spirit. Add running, in general, to her list of things that she’s not a fan of…yet. BWahahahahah.

She did get her first bib, race shirt, and medal, though.

Back in Brooklyn, we fed our brains at the Murakami exhibit:

Quick story about that one:
So, I knew that he had a few scandalous pieces, but I figured we could just walk by those really quickly and Monkey wouldn’t notice. Umm, yeah, I didn’t realize how big Milk is (the one on the right – warning, NSFW.) It’s huge. Anyways, we walk around a wall and see this statue starting right at us. Monkey asks, “Mommy, what’s she doing with her boobies?”

Me: “Um, well, when we have babies, you can get milk from our boobies.”

As I say this, I notice that RIGHT ACROSS FROM BOOBALICIOUS is Lonesome Cowboy (the enthusiastic one on the left), for our viewing pleasure. I so wasn’t even going to try to explain that one, so I pulled a quick, “Hey, what’s over there?” and dragged her out of that room. I’m so smooth.

So, after I was done torturing and corrupting my child, I payed her off with some new summer dresses. She quickly claimed this one as her favorite and has even worn it to bed a few times. Because, sometimes a girl wants to feel like a fairy princess when she drifts off for the night.