All good things come with lots of attitude

Monkey was offering a friend a hair tie to put in his hair. Said friend shaves his head.
So, he tells her that he can’t use it because he doesn’t have any hair on his head.
Monkey looks at him, scrunches up her face, and says with the utmost sincerity, “Awww, do you miss it?”

I don’t know what’s up with the background noise. I think there’s aliens living in my camera.

Driving home from having a dinner picnic at Prospect Park tonight:

Monkey: Mommy, I want ice cream!
Me: That’s nice. I’d like a million dollars. Do you have a million dollars for me?
Monkey: (after a short pause, puts her hands up and shrugs) No, Mommy. I don’t have no pockets.

The San Gennaro feast took place all last week. Last Friday, I dragged the Monkey out into the city, picked up my mom, and we headed to Little Italy to partake in some Italian fair food. Being the good Colombians that we are, we ended up finding Colombian carne asada and pina coladas, instead. In the middle of Little Italy. That’s how we roll, yo.

Monkey got the requisite ear of corn. She devoured the majority of it all by herself. That girl can tear up some corn on the cob.

Lest you think we didn’t have any Italian fare, Monkey and I shared some zeppoles. Strangely, Monkey preferred hers with only a small sprinkling of powdered sugar. Less mess for me to clean up. She also got me to win her that stupid Monkey George doll. She loved it for all of ten minutes and hasn’t really touched it since.

On the way back to the subway we came across an art exhibit thing. Some man with nothing better to do took a bunch of hula hoop-looking tubes and tied them together to make a dome. They seemed to be setting up a press conference of some sort, but I let Monkey run around like she owned the place.

The fun came to an end when she touched the tubes and realized they were dirty. It’s the middle of Manhattan, so I’m not sure what she was expecting. After a quick wipe with a wet nap, we headed back home, heavy-lidded and with bellies full of fried food.

Having this much ‘tude is hard work

I took Monkey to the San Gennaro feast yesterday. (More pictures on that trip when I get a chance to upload them.) She had a huge ear of grilled corn as we walked around. Later that night, after making her evening…um, “deposit”, she looks in the toilet, raises her eyebrows in surprise, and says, “Oh, corn!”

Monkey hasn’t really warmed up to school yet. She hates getting up in the morning, and hates being dropped off even more. The teachers say that she’s a total peach once I leave, though. Hmmm.

Lemme get that thumbprint for you…

Since the past few mornings have been so traumatic around here, I’ve been trying to use Fridays as our ‘treat’ day, to encourage her to be a better monkey about school, especially when it comes to not driving mommy crazy in the morning. This week, we headed to the NY Aquarium with our friends, Clara and Mr. E.

We saw a sea lion show (Monkey was very happy to watch them swim), then headed off to see the fishies in the big tank.

The favorite of the day was the shark tank. Both Monkey and Mr. E squealed as they pressed their little noses up against the glass to watch the sharks with their crazy teeth swim by. Monkey was particularly excited to see the humongous turtle swimming in the same big “bathtub”.

However, Monkey soon grew tired of all the aquatic life.

After an exhausting morning staring at fish, the mommies decided to sit on the boardwalk for a cuppa joe while the kids ran around in the sand. We’re nearing the end of the warm days around here, so we’ve been trying to take full advantage of them.

Maybe wearing sunglasses all day will help keep summer here.

Someone started preschool this week. She has to wear a uniform, too. While Monkey loves wearing her ‘ballerina’ dresses, she abhors her school uniform. Day 1 was…operatic. She screamed her head off all morning. I ended up hanging out for about a half hour while Monkey calmed down. Once I left, the teacher said that she was a total angel. She helped hand out the milk at lunch, set up the chairs, and cleaned up, too.

Day 2 started out fabulously. She was excited. We’re going to school! Yay! Let’s wear our school uniform! Teacher said she cried half the morning, then cried again after her nap. *sigh*

Day 3: a repeat of day 1. Pfft. The teacher told me that she’s noticed how Monkey likes ‘alone time.’ I think Monkey just gets aggravated at being around so many toddlers who are all competing to be divas, too. So, she just walks over to a quiet corner where she can contemplate the theological implications of existential angst…or, she can pick her nose in peace. Oh, and she asked me why doesn’t Monkey like to go potty. I told her that she goes when she’s ready to go, and doesn’t like to be told when she should be emptying her bladder. I pick and choose my battles – letting Monkey tell me when she needs to take a piss is one of those battles that I’ve gladly handed over to her.

I had Friday off, so we took a trip to the beach. That’s always a hell of a lot more fun than poopy school.

Speaking of poopy, that’s how Monkey is feeling right now. While preschool means a great opportunity to be socialized, it also means that she gets to hang out all day with little petri dishes of festering disease. She’s brought home her first cold. We’ll be spending the weekend snuggled up on the sofa watching DVDs (Madagascar: hee-larious. I laugh my arse off), eating oranges, and trying to keep the Monkey from eating her own boogers – ewwwwww.

We were in bed reading Monkey’s new favoritest book. We get to the picture of the pooping rhino.

Monkey: What’s that?
Me: That’s a rhinoceros. Can you say rhinoceros?
Monkey: Sure…. rhi-no-cer-POOPS!

We get to the end of the book, the page where it shows everyone eating.

Me: See, they’re all eating. So, what happens to our food when we eat?
Monkey: It goes round and round (rubs her belly) and then we toot and make stinkies!

I don’t care what you say, she’s a friggin genius.