All good things come with lots of attitude

Fool me once…
November 30, 2007, 8:17 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Monkey: “Mommy, smell my finger.”
Me: “No. I’m not smelling your finger. What’s wrong with you? Smell MY finger.”
Monkey: “OK. *sniff* Mmm, smells like mommy.”
Me: “Awww, thanks.”
Monkey: “OK, now smell my finger.”
Me: *sniff* “Mmm, smells like Monkey.”
Monkey: “No, Mommy, that smells like my butt.”


Get it right
November 30, 2007, 12:03 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m feeding the Monkey dinner last night. She was donning her princess tiara and earrings, talking on her princess cell phone. I called her over.

Me: “Come here, Monkey, and finish your dinner.”
Monkey: “No. Say, ‘come here, Princess Nia.'”

It’s just getting worse and worse…

Cow says ‘moo’
November 28, 2007, 12:21 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Monkey and I are going through her picture book, naming animals and saying their sounds.
Cow says ‘moo’, cat says ‘meow’, etc.
I get to the giraffe and ask her, “What does the giraffe say?”
She cocks her head a little to the side and sucks in her bottom lip (this is her I’m-thinking-pose.)
After a few moments, she looks at me and quips, “The giraffe says ‘hi! I’m a giraffe!'”

Sleepy monkey
November 17, 2007, 3:35 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

sleeping Monkey

It’s amazing how peaceful the Monkey looks when she’s asleep. So quiet, so serene, so not breaking things and screaming.

monkey sleeps 3

monkey sleeps 2

Naps around here are hit or miss. Luckily, she seems to pass out fine at school. Come to think of of, she’s pretty obedient at school…at home, not so much. As I type this, she’s singing, “I am a true princess, I am a princess.” Seriously. Where did this kid come from?

Striking a pose in her sleep

Even in her sleep – always the princess.

When the help gets out of line
November 16, 2007, 9:43 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Monkey and I were walking down to the laundry room tonight. I was lugging about 5 months worth of laundry and Monkey was helping by chatting on her princess cell phone. She was in the middle of a conversation with her princesses explaining to them how she had wet her sheets and now mommy was going to go wash them. As she jabbered away, I asked her to press the elevator button so that we could head down to the basement.

Monkey turned to me and said, “Excuse me, I’m talking on the cell phone.”

Playing ‘steal the bacon’
November 16, 2007, 7:00 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Monkey has a whole array of smiles – large, ear-to-ear grins; open-mouthed guffaws where you can count all her molars; sweet smiles that she’ll shoot at you from across the room…and, her sneaky smile. I can’t really describe her sneaky smile except to say that it’s about the most insincere smile to ever cross a toddler’s face. Man, does she try hard to hide things behind that smile.

Thankfully, it fails miserably.

Tonight, I was making a batch of baked potato soup. Go ahead, click on the recipe. Read it and feel your thighs expand. Yes, it is THAT good.

Anyways, I had just fried up the bacon and set it aside to drain and cool down. Monkey comes by, plays around me for a while before I kick her out from under my feet. A few minutes later, she comes back with that smile. The one that tells me right away that she’s done something she’s not supposed to do.

“Monkey, what’s up?”
“I have bacon, mommy!”
“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m making bacon for the soup.”
“No, mommy, I have bacon!”

This is when she walks over to me and holds up a half-eaten strip of bacon.

“You stole bacon off the table?!”
“Why? That was for dinner.”
“I like bacon, mommy! Mmmm!”

It begins with bacon…next, she’ll be holding up banks with a pair of pantyhose on her head.

She covers songs, too
November 16, 2007, 12:07 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Monkey LOVES to sing. She’s usually humming something or other, making up words as she goes along, reinventing songs and making them much, much better. Three examples:

“Black sheep, black sheep, have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir, three bags, four. One for the monster, for the dame, *mumble mumble mumble* Black sheep, black sheep….”

“Where is Pumpkin, where is Pumpkin? Here I am, here I am…”

“Old MacDonald had a farm, E-I-E-I-O…with a sheep over here over there over here, E-I-E-I-O.”